Merlin's Nemesis
by SummerQuill
Summary: Morgues, Morgana and Nimueh argue which of them is Merlin's worst enemy. The small argument spirals in to anger and alls it takes is one very small, very tired Mordred to tip the balance, with potentially disastrous results for the Warlock in question.
1. Chapter 1 Can't Sleep

**I was bored couldn't sleep and reallllly needed some inspo…  
>This little random act of writing is the result.<br>Once again, damn damn plot bunnies**

**Mostly a crack fic I'll see where it takes me : P  
>Reviews loved as usual and I hope you enjoy :) <strong>

The three witches glowered at each other from over their small table, Morgana, Morgues and Nimueh all looking particularly irritable. Cendred's kingdom was a bit of a mess after his demise, but his castle held together well enough and that was where the three had stowed away. Quietly waiting for the time they would take their revenge.

Or at least that was usually the case. The three had bonded more than ever over their particular hatred of Uther, Merlin in particular and of course the world and life itself generally. But through their latest rants (coupled with angry scowls and evil smirks alike) they had come upon the question to which they all had different answers.

The question happened to be; Who did Merlin view as his greatest enemy. His 'Arch Nemesis' as Nimueh had said quite mellow dramatically.

Morgana said it was herself obviously, she had been his dear friend for so many years and then stabbed him in the back. She had tried to kill him, and his friends, turned her back on everything he knew. The ultimate betrayal, she had gone against that which he believed in and become his Arch Nemesis.

Morgues disagreed. _She_ after all had been the one to bring Morgana to their way of thinking. She had taken one of Merlin's friends and made her an enemy. She had tried to turn Arthur against him as well and attempted to kill his friends as her sister had. This made her Merlin's true Nemesis. Also she was more powerful then Morgana and had taught her all she knew (Morgana was not happy at this pronouncement)

Nimueh told them both to be silent. They were both wrong after all. They stood no chance against her, not only had she very nearly killed the Prince but Merlin's own mother _and _his guardian. She had poisoned Merlin herself. She had fought him most and been the closest to killing him. _She_ was Merlin's true Nemesis.

Morgues added rather snidely 'yes but he did kill you for it'.

From then the argument descended in to chaos where no one could agree and just continued shouting until at last they fell in to an angry and simmering silence. This was not helped by the appearance of a very small and grouchy looking shadow that appeared in the doorway scowling at the three witches.

Mordred was not amused. More not amused than usual, in fact he was positively irritated by this argument that had gone on no less than _three hours. _Three hours that he had been trying to sleep in, three hours that he had been lying on the floor gazing in to the darkness with words like, 'well yes but I'm just so much better then you' and 'at least I know the proper amount of eyeliner to wear before it looks ridiculous.'

At this point it was easy to say that Mordred was very, very fed up. His irritation was only highlighted by the fact that they were all wrong. Mordred after all was the Nemesis of Emrys, he would kill the Once and Future King and leave the Warlock but a quivering wreck upon the floor. As he had _plainly_ said 'I will not forgive this, and neither shall I forget' or something along those lines, he had practiced it so many times in front of the mirror it was hard to remember the exact wording that had gone in to the day in question.

He knew though that the witches would not take this in to consideration. Nimueh would snicker and Morgana would no doubt simply cue at him until he was forced to retreat back in to bed. No if he wanted to get any sleep he need to shut them up and if he wanted to shut them up he would have to think of something, _quickly._

He was tired, he couldn't think of anything and his head already hurt from all the shouting. So sure maybe it wasn't his fault that the plan had been such a spectacularly bad one but he had sort of assumed that if the plan were that bad the 'adults' would weigh this up and think better of it. Oh dear.

"Look!" He shouted rubbing his eyes grumpily, "You won't be able to work it out yourselves. If you're so desperate to know why don't you just ask him!" it was a stupid idea, he knew it as he said it but really and honestly he just didn't _care._

"Ask him Mordred whatever do you mean?" Morgana asked sweetly, with that warm motherly smile plastered over her face. Nimueh rolled her eyes '_this woman'._

"I'm tired, I can't sleep." Mordred said throwing in a pout for good measure. Morgana's face melted instantly while Morgues's eyes seemed to soften. Nimueh though simply looked disgusted. Mordred had never liked that woman. "Rather than argue why don't you… take Merlin and make him tell you?"

"Kidnap?" Morgues purred and if he had seen the sudden spark of interest in her eyes he would have taken it back right there and then, but as it was he was too busy rubbing his sore eyes.

"Yup kidnapping." He said in an indulgent voice.

The witches didn't notice, Morgana looked at her sister with a similar spark of excitement in her eye. Even Nimueh seemed at least tempted by the idea. Morgana saw it in her eyes when she looked over at her newest friend and then the witches circle was complete and evil malevolent grins were spread all round.

"Go to sleep Mordred." Morgues called, "We are sorry to have woken you."

"Sleep well darling." Morgana called.

Mordred walked away still scowling grumpily. They better hope he slept well or he _would_ have his revenge.

Meanwhile unknown to him the witches set about on their plot smirking darkly all the while. Yes they would have their answer. They would have it from the idiots mouth itself and then they would kill him. Really, they wondered why they had never had this idea before.

**Well its unbeta'd and I'm a lil tired but I hope it worked out alright : P **

**If you think it should be continued please say so and… well did you like it or hate it etcetc basically what most writers ask at the end of their fanfics :P**

**I have to sleep now, sleep is good… annnd its four hours until I have to get up… that's just… great. **

**Hope you enjoyed!  
>SQ<strong>


	2. Chapter 2 The Universe

**Hi guys. Bit very late so I'm sorry :( Had nasty writers block for ages and this is the first thing to be updated in a while.  
>Anyway hope alls good thanks for your reviews I really love hearin what you think :D <strong>

**Merlin still dosn't belong to me (if it did there would be no Lance-Gwen-Arthur... just sayin) :P  
>hope you enjoy<br>**

Merlin would like to clarify that this was _not_ his fault. Constantly people went on about him causing trouble but there was no way, no _way_ that he could have caused or seen this coming.

Well apart from that it was a beautiful sunny day and the Prat had decided on a lie in, no one had belittled, annoyed or tried to make his work hard for him, and _yes_ maybe if the day had begun quite that well it was only a sign it was going to go drastically downhill from there.

But Merlin like the poor naive soul that he was decided to give the universe a bit of credit that it wouldn't try to tie him in knots just this once. Apparently the universe liked to prove him wrong because the very moment he stepped out in to one of the quitter servant corridors on his way to the kitchens, a light footstep from behind him was followed swiftly by something very solid smashing in to the back of his head, _hard_.

The sharp pain was quickly numbed by darkness and he barely felt his legs give way before everything was consumed in darkness. Floating somewhere in his unconscious, fully aware that he was either being killed or dragged away to his doom -Or someone had accidently clocked him on the head and was taking him to Gaius (unlikely but he could hope)- his last thought was a dull rather fed up one.

'The universe hates me'.

-M-

His head hurt, his arms were straining, pulled back over his head and apparently holding all of his weight. He felt like he'd been dragged at least a reasonable distance and he was so very thirsty. But that wasn't the worst of it though, no, no, no the voices were what did it. Because he knew them, all three annoying, cruel 'I am plainly smirking evil-y while I say this' voices and those three voices were not something you wanted to wake up too after you've been knocked out dragged and hung up in a precarious position.

But he couldn't see them and that was a mercy, actually he refused to see them. He wasn't going to open his eyes because he was sure the sight waiting for him was going to be horrific and terrible and he would just much rather spare himself that particular sight for as long as possible.

So when clipped footsteps echoed through what he imagined to be a large hall and the shuffling of a likely raggedy, torn dress indicated one figure approaching him Merlin was sure to keep his eyes shut tightly as he held his breath.

"Well Merlin," Nimueh purred, "What a pleasure it is to see you once again."

Merlin kept his eyes shut but he didn't have to have much of an imagination to picture the likely furious hatred filled glare the woman was leveling at him at that moment. It was all in the voice, fury hedged with malicious, devious intent.

"The pleasure is all yours." He replied wishing his voice didn't waver so much but heck he was hanging there refusing to open his eyes, any attempt at seeming brave or threatening went out the window.

Nimueh chuckled, a high delighted not entirely sane laugh that halted any thoughts of answering back in future. Death obviously hadn't done Nimueh any good, her laugh was nothing short of unnerving.  
>An accompanying snicker reminded him of the other occupants- there was no <em>way<em> he was opening his eyes now.

"Something wrong with your eyes Merlin?" Morgana purred from wherever she was standing. Merlin scowled at her as best he could and remained resilient.

"Coward." Morgues sniped, clearly satisfied.

His eyes snapped open and narrowed, glare fixing on the blond witch before he had even realized what he'd done. It could only last so long though before he actually began to see the place properly. He repressed a groan realizing it was worse than he could ever have imagined. The hall they were in as large and dark, black stone and black metal and a long table down the center of the room in the darkest wood he had ever seen. The walls were mostly bare but of course there was always the chance equally black weapons hung somewhere among the muck, covered by layers of dust, grime and evilness. He was chained, hanging from the wall by his arms in the most uncomfortable way possible and he'd never quite been this desperate to get away.

The place was a gothic nightmare and as if to top off the effect the three witches stood in a semicircle just in front of him. Morgana, dark hair and corpse like pale skin, Morgues still blond, smirking and with a sinister amount of eyeliner in place and last of all Nimueh who had the added burn marks tagging on to her raggedy look.

"I hate my life." Merlin sighed.

-M-

Mordred was in a good mood.

It was a rare, rare, _rare_ thing but this morning when he had woken up from a perfectly restful sleep, with no wicked snickering or stupid arguments he had felt surprisingly chipper. Admittedly it didn't show too much as he ghosted through the corridors, looking just as pale and creepy as usual. But if you had spent a lot of time with the boy you would have noticed the unnerving quirk to his lips and the slightly unhinged glint in his eyes that you would expect to find in mass murderers.

While he was asleep (with no interruptions for once) he'd had a wonderful dream. Emrys on his knees, forced to bow to an all powerful Mordred _because he will never forgive nor will he forget…_

Or was it forget forgive? It was of little matter. Mordred waved these thoughts from his head and twitched his lips in an almost smile. It had been a very pleasant dream, that was the point of the matter and it would probably keep him in a very good mood for the rest of the day.

He would deny it and if you told anyone _he would never forgive-_ but as he turned the corner in to the hallway he gave a little skip of excitement and looked around the dark corridors with new more cheerful eyes.

Cendred obviously hadn't been one for taste, the sod of a king hadn't been much of anything really and now he was gone. Mordred added a little mental snicker before turning his attention back to the architecture. With this castle- and probably all of his castles- the over use of everything dark, depressing and evil became a bit dull and Cendred's love/obsession of pointy objects adorned the walls in various weapons. It was all very… tacky and annoying, much like the King himself really. Mordred added another mental snicker and patted himself on the back at the dead kings expense.

Still though as he looked on his surroundings with more cheerful and well rested eyes he came to appreciate more of the… evilness of the walls, it was all so dark and imposing, very much Mordred's style. Maybe with the help of magic the place would one day grow to its full potential of evil style. Mordred skipped in the air again looking around with excitement.

This time Mordred's lips _almost_ formed a smile as he skipped on his merry way down the corridor towards the great hall, ticking off things in his head. Imposing brackets, imposing torches, another coat of arms, armor, armor, pointy weapon thing, armor, armor, scary prison chains, armor, weapon, armor, red neckerchief, armor-

Wait what?

Mordred frowned and stopped in the hallway. He'd already walked past the door to the great hall and couldn't see the inside from here and so simply gazed around the narrow hallway looking about for what he had seen. Turning he walked back the way he had come with the same check list.

Armor… weapon, chains, armor, Emrys, armor…

Mordred stopped mid stride in the hallway eyes going wide. He heard cackling from the great hall and knew what he had seen must actually be there and that meant…

His thoughts were cut off by a frightened, but incredulous voice slightly higher than usual with a hedge of disbelief to his words.

"You brought me here… just to ask me who my worst enemy is?"

Mordred stopped right there and then. He froze and growled and brooded as all of his good cheer was torn up and thrown to the wind because really…_really,_ they had chosen that one time to actually listen to him? Mordred dropped his head and moaned, forcing back the very real tears that threatened to burst from his eyes out of pure frustration.

He hated Emrys, he hated those witches and their stupid cackling and there stupid plots –even if it had accidently been his but it _was a terrible idea_- Mordred hated everything which is why he shook back the tears and muttered with every ounce of spite and fury that could fit in the dark, evil pint sized body.

"I _hate_ the universe."

**Thats all for now folks, will pick it up soonish hopefuly before Merlin series 4starts tho I'm not promising :P**

**Hope you guys enjoyed please please pretty please leave me a review and tell me what you think :D Even if its to agree/hate my dislike for Lance-Gwen-Arthur thing. Would be great to hear from you!  
>Thanks for reading!<strong>

**SQ**


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